Day 23: Childhood

Hello, friends.

I know, I know...I still haven't done day 22. That one may come at a later date. This one was a picture of something that reminded you of childhood. As I was cleaning out my room, I found my baby blanket in the bottom of my bottom drawer of my dresser. I picked it up and immediately had the urge to tie it around my neck. So I did, obviously...and walked around like that for a little while to my parents' amusement. When my brother and I were younger, he had these superhero pajamas, Batman and Superman to be specific, that had detachable capes. Well, I was SUPER jealous...so I made my make-shift cape and we took turns taking our best flying jumps off of the fireplace and couch arms. Good times :)

I haven't touched my camera in a couple weeks, and that makes me sad. When I have the time these days, aka when I'm not working or unintentionally committing to things that take up every inch of my free time, I just want to zone out and indulge in hallmark movies (always a happy ending) and try to sleep. Throw in knitting, a glass of wine, a couple of crazy cats (gross), and I might as well be 40 years older. Someday I'll move out. But I don't want to wait for life to start until then...yet I feel like I have no other choice. Life is moving, but part of me still feels stuck. What I've learned these past couple of weeks though, is that I need to make time for these kinds of things. For my camera, for my guitar, for things that keep me sane. And I promise to work on that in the coming weeks.

Work has been going really well...I love my co-workers, and I'm so blessed by that.

Hope you all are well :)

Day 21: Sunrise

"There's a sunrise and a sunset every single day, and they're absolutely free. Don't miss so many of them."

- Jo Walton

I always take pictures of sunsets...so even though day 21 is "sunset", I figured it wouldn't hurt to switch it up a bit. I literally woke up, looked outside, and took this picture out of my window. I would love to wake up for sunrises more often...I remember when I'd work the early morning shift in college and get to walk to work with the sunrise. I miss that. Or at least, the idea of that. :)

Today I had one of those basic realizations...I was talking about kids on the way out of work with someone who has two. I thought to myself, "I'm definitely not going to be ready for that for another ten years". And then I thought about where I was ten years ago (middle school...yikes), and so much can change in even five years, let alone ten. Five years from now, I could be married. Maybe even trying for kids. Most likely not the second, but hopefully the first. And that's just the way life goes for most...you grow up, get married if you want to, have kids if you want to/can, work, live, etc. Driving in my car on the way home, I was simultaneously excited and suffocated by that train of thought. But I just have to remember...life happens in the midst of those stages. I didn't just go from middle school to high school to college to adult life...that would be boring. So many amazing things happened, and some not so amazing things. All of which I eventually came to be grateful for. I feel like I am so completely different from the me five years ago, and yet so much more...me. And how I define myself is continually shifting and growing and changing.

So, here's to five years ago, five years from now, and today. Because today is life.

Day 20: Whatever You Please

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

-Epicurus 

Day 19: Landscapes

Hey all. It's been a little while. Luckily there isn't a strict deadline for this photo challenge...

Landscapes. God paints some especially gorgeous ones here in the CO. This particular picture was one I took on a hike up to Lake Isabelle. It was a couple months ago, but I had such a hard time finding a good landscape shot that I figured I could post this. This hike was perfect...perfect weather, perfect scenery, perfect company. Plus we went to get delicious wings afterwards in Nederland. Good day :)

What a week. What a few weeks, actually. I think I'll be able to post consistently again...hopefully! I'll try my best. This past week has been an awesome change of mood from the previous weeks. A mix of pain and joy, with some hope thrown in. The pain makes the joy that much sweeter and much more present. God once again reminds me that he never leaves. I feel good things coming...and good things that are already here. Super thankful for that. And ready for a change! Hope you all are well :)

Day 18: A Photo Depicting an Emotion

I'm slowly coming around to an idea. Life is more than salaries and benefits and 401ks...more than perfect schools and perfect grades and a great neighborhood. Life is more than iPhones and Facebook and Internet. SO much more. I want a radical life...I want something more than this. I'm scared to leave comfort and I'm scared of where it will lead, but it's got to be better than the deadness I feel in my soul. The loneliness, the bitterness, the hopelessness that often creeps in. And materialistically there should be absolutely no reason for that; I have anything I could ever need...a loving family, friends, a place to live, food, and plenty of clothes and toys, just to name a few. It just doesn't make any sense. But joy is becoming harder to find and I feel like entitlement and my desire for the approval of others is poisoning my life and suffocating any feeling of freedom. I'm done. I'm so done. I don't have a clue how to get out of this, but I'm just trying to find God and what he wants to do with me. And my terrified, probably reluctant but anticipatory self will try to follow through. It will probably look like one step forward and two back, but as long as I'm moving in that direction, I feel like I'll be OK.

I don't know what emotion that is...restlessness, defeat? But that's where I'm at.

Day 17: Light

"Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished."

- Michael Strassfeld

I modified this one...it was street lights, but I didn't like how those turned out. This, on the other hand, I like. It reminds me of this post last year. The cobwebs are just a Halloween decoration, otherwise that would be pretty gross. But shining light on the cobwebs is kind of metaphorical...hmmm...do with that what you will.

My realization today: I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. It's simultaneously exciting, terrifying, and incredibly frustrating. But, somehow, always worth it. Need to stop trying to force things to happen in my life.

And that, my friends, is it for tonight...because my head is stuffed with cotton balls, and I'm going to try and sleep it off. Goodnight :)

Day 16: Light Trails!

Leave the shutter open for awhile, and you can do some pretty fun things. I would love to get better at taking long exposure shots.

But really, on another note...

Jessica Ridgeway. She's been on the news, on the minds, and on the hearts of so many the past week. My heart literally aches for this little girl who had to go through such a horrific experience that no one should EVER have to go through. You can't explain it, and you can't even begin to wrap your mind around it...so you pray for peace and resurrected hope over their family in a life without their daughter. I want peace for her family that comes from the realization that she was in the arms of Jesus the whole time. Peace for everyone else in that, as well. People are broken. But God can work His purposes through any tragedy. Rest in peace, Jessica.

Day 15: Whatever You Please

I LOVE FALL!! Ah. Today was perfect...I'm glad it was chilly, because I wore a sweater. I need to go thrifting for a sweet Halloween costume as well...hmmm. Any ideas? Let me know.

When I got my iPhone recently, I was all worried that I would get sucked into Instagram and ditch my actual camera. And it's cool, but I feel so lame on it. Ha. And I've noticed that all of the hashtags, although I know that they can serve a purpose, are ultimately for looks. I feel like such a poser when I use them, as weird as that sounds. #hashtagsareweird. I also need to be OK when people don't like my pictures. Haha. One step at a time.

For the record, I still love my camera. :)

Day 14: Eyes

"Almost nothing need be said when you have eyes."

-Tarjei Vesaas; The Boat in the Evening

Day 13: Favorite Photo Edit

The view in the picture is what I wake up to most early weekday mornings...the sun painting the sky on my blinds. Below is what the picture looked like before (still pretty awesome):

As far as editing pictures, I don't like to change much if it's not needed. I like the simple brightness and contrast feature! It's amazing how it can transform a picture. I'm a fan of bold colors, and contrast in moderation. I recently discovered the "curves" feature on photoshop, and I'm in love. It's cool to try and balance out brightness and contrast in order to bring depth to a picture. Anyways, that's my favorite photo edit!

Day 12: Bokeh

I learned what "bokeh" was in my last photo challenge, and I have that definition here. This photo has bokeh towards the top of the picture, so not quite the entire thing. Does that count? :)

I'm pretty excited for Halloween. And need to go costume hunting sometime this weekend! Woo!

I'm still here, I promise...

Just trying to make some time... :) it has been a crazy busy week. I promise another picture soon!

Day 11: B&W

So I realized that yesterday I also had a black and white picture. Whoops...oh well. :) What a day. That's all that can really be said. Something to look forward to this week: I will be stepping from the land of flip phones into the land of iPhones. Stoked. I'll let you know how it goes.

Goodnight!

Day 10: Whatever You Please

Encouragement. I love this verse in Isaiah, because although sometimes I may feel rejected by everyone else, I am not rejected by God. In fact, not only am I not rejected, but there is a purpose for me here. And as long as I keep pursuing Him instead of trying to lead, everything else will follow.

I've realized that this past year and a half, I've been so caught up in myself. After graduating college you're forced to turn in on yourself and ask, "what do I actually want to do with my life?" Once you figure something out, or at least find something you could tolerate doing for a year or two, you try and compile all of the things that make you useful in the working world onto one sheet of paper called a resumé. And if you're like me with no internships or scholarships or honors, it's not much. You begin to think your worth is that piece of paper. (It's not). Another conundrum (word of the day!) that came with all of this...you want experience, but the only way you'll get hired is with experience...so how do you get the experience?! It seems that it's just pure luck and connections, my friend.

So since graduation, I've been so caught up in trying to lead my own life: make things happen for myself, find what would make me happy for the rest of my life...and it's draining. In a society where if you're not happy and pursuing your dreams, you need to make yourself happy...that can be a heavy weight to carry. I have no CLUE what to do for the rest of my life. I have a job, and I'm blessed with that for sure, but it's not forever. Nothing is. So recently I'm learning to rest, and to follow. I had a friend that put it into a great perspective for me: Some people may have a dream job, and that's where they thrive...some people may have a dream group of friends, and that's where they thrive...some people have a dream church, and etc. Not everyone needs a dream job, I don't think. If you enjoy the people you're working with, and you enjoy the environment, and you like what you do most of the time, that just may be enough for now. Dream job or not, God still has a purpose for you in that.

Thanks for reading, friends. :)

Day 9: From a Distance

I may or may not have been driving when I took this...not the brightest idea. But it made for a cool shot of the rain on the street, reflecting the lights. I promise I won't be slacking on these pictures often...it's just been a crazy week.

Today consisted mainly of laundry...loads of fun. And THEN! I got to hang out with a good friend and grab dinner and drinks. And play pool. And watch people sing karaoke. All in all, a success. Happy weekend! :)

P.S. Every now and then I'll hear a word during the day that just seems to stick out...today's word of the day: fathom.

Fathom: to penetrate to the truth of; comprehend; understand

Day 8: Close-up

I think I may have managed to hit 40 tonight on the highway driving home. That is, the part of the highway that wasn't a detour. In a torrential downpour. I have to say...driving through rivers of water is pretty exhilarating. And by exhilarating I mean terrifying. Especially when bigger, more capable vehicles decide to speed past you and shower your car with a tidal wave. But, I made it home alive! So that's always a good end to the day.

Falling a little behind on this challenge, but that's ok. The first one I did I was super on top of posting every day. With this one, I'm a little more lax because I want it to be a picture I want to take...and not just something quick that I take just because it needs to get done before the end of the day. So there you have it. Is it really only Wednesday?! Eesh...hope you're all having a good week!

Day 7: Silhouette

The ache to utter and see in word. The silhouette of a brooding soul.

-Carl Sandburg

I can totally relate to this. I interpret it as the ache that comes when you want to write or speak, but words don't come. Or if they do, they aren't the right ones. This can happen in joy as well as pain.

This weekend was awesome; full of worship and community. There's just something amazing about being up in the mountains that soaks into my soul. I hope you all got a chance to enjoy the weather, the mountains, your friends, your family, your life. Goodnight :)

Gone for the weekend!

Photo Challenge is postponed until Sunday or Monday :) Have a great weekend!

Day 6: From a Low Angle

This, my friends, is a sweet Katydid of the leaf bug variety that my mom came upon in our front yard. She got really excited because her favorite thing of summer is the sound of the katydids...pretty cool. No, I'm not named after them in case you were wondering. I was reminded of how nice it is to take a ten minute break from your day and solely focus on appreciating the life around you...whether it be sitting on a bench at a park or standing at a tree in your front yard taking pictures of a bug. Yep, life is good.

Day 5: Whatever You Please

So there is this cute wine shop in an alleyway in Denver right off of 16th...and it's not too big, and not too expensive. Wine has definitely been an acquired taste for me. One time I went to a wine-tasting with one of my friends, and it was super interesting and a lot of fun. We learned that wine "testers" are called sommeliers (so-mall-ee-ays), and they are not allowed to have altoids because they kill your taste buds. And you know, they get paid for their taste buds. And that turkey goes really well with Gewurztraminer (ga-vertz-trah-mee-ner), which is basically a sweet white wine that in German means "spice grapes". Then I dropped a tiny wine glass trying to reach the cheese appetizers, and something along the lines of "someone needs to get cut off!" was said. Mortifying, but amusing.

Anyways, those are some fun facts you can throw around at your next work meeting, wedding, book club, or social outing when things get awkwardly silent...you're welcome. Haha :)

Night all!

Day 4: From a High Angle

My nephew is one of the most adorable little boys I know...besides my other nephew. :) I just love being an aunt. Here he is staring at "Meow", aka Gypsy, the cat that lives next door and likes to hang out on our front porch. I'm personally not a huge fan of cats, but it's fun to watch him enjoy her.

Anyways. Tonight I got to hang out with 4 friends that I was describing yesterday...being with them is as natural as breathing. Or laughing, really. They remind me that God is so good, life is good, that I can still make people laugh :). We closed down Starbucks...hence the late night post.

Starting up this blog and making it a little more public has been interesting...I mean, I do this because I love it. And I'll keep doing it for as long as I keep loving it...so I hope whoever reads this blog (mom), can find enjoyment in it! That's all.

Goodnight! :)

Day 3: Your Favorite Place To Be

This picture encompasses a lot of things. One, I love coffee shops. When I was working retail hours, one of my favorite things to do was come to the Starbucks by my house armed with a journal, pen, and a book. I could sit there for hours...and mostly did. Two, I love just hanging out with good friends. You know, the friends that constantly remind you why you chose to be friends in the first place. One of my favorite feelings is time well spent...it feels like just the thing you needed, like a hoodie on a cool, fall day...or it feels like complete joy and thankfulness for your life and the people in it...or both. I just love it, and I hope you have had the pleasure of experiencing it. Three, my favorite place to BE, to just be who I am, is around those friends. Where you can just relax into yourself, and don't have to stress about expectations because everything just comes naturally. That, my friends, is my favorite place to be.

Day 2: What You Wore Today

Trying to wear all of my dresses before the cold weather swoops in. Wearing them with pants underneath is just not the same! But, still excited for the colder weather. Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, haunted houses, Halloween parties, leaves changing, apple cider, hot chocolate, sweats and hoodies all equal why I love fall. Plus more, but those are the main things I'm excited for. 

Photo challenge: so far, so good...tomorrow is a photo of your favorite place to be! Still trying to figure out what to do for that one...hope you're all well :)

Day 1: Self.

Washing my face and staring into the dirty mirror last night, I realized that this was me. And sometimes, when I'm scrubbing my face with my hands, I wish I could wash myself of all the awkward, all of the mediocre, all of the crap of the day/week/life. If only it worked like that. Because all of that crap, that's not me...and yet sometimes I'm fooled into thinking that all of those things are the sum of what I am. Sometimes people don't give me the chance to be more than that. Sometimes I don't give myself a chance to be more than that. But all I have to say is, I am more than that.

and again...

OK...so...I THINK I'm going to do another photography challenge. Except, it will be like my first challenge but with new pictures. I really want to get back into it, so hopefully this won't be in vain.

face down, eyes closed.

Wye Oak - "Dance My Pain Away" (Originally by Rod Lee)

Audrey I think you will like this! :)

Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa

Now listen to my story, bill collectors on me
Had to file bankruptcy , need some help from somebody
Doctors bills is stacking up, I'm desperate to make a buck
I played the lottery today, won't you please listen up.

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I just got laid off today, what you think my baby say.
I'll just have to hope and pray, rain, rain go away.
The repo man just hit me, can't get from A to Z
Fake friends around, Lord wont you help me.

Now I'm on my tippy toes, face down, eyes closed.
Face down, eyes closed, face down, eyes closed.

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)


I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)


I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

(Take your problems all on the dance floor, dance your problems away)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

jump.

Loving this song right now:

I feel like I'm coming back into my own again. I decided to start detaching myself from the church I'm going to, and it's been good for me so far. Whether or not I'll go back to that church or start going to a new one, I don't really know. But there are a couple in Denver I want to check out.

Also, I've started looking for apartments in Denver! Fun idea, not so fun to do. But it will be worth it. As I scroll through the numerous Craigslist postings, some promising and some not-so-promising, I just wish that God would tap me on the shoulder and say "that one!". I even try to tune-in to some inner signal or feeling, but to no avail this time around. If only.

Started on Twitter! Man, I could see how it would be more fun with a lot of your friends on it. Till then, I have a whopping 5 followers. Hoorah! Maybe I'll see you on there. @kjmyers8

the haunting.

"So much of the journey forward involves a letting go of all that once brought us life. We turn away from the familiar abiding places of the heart, the false selves we have lived out, the strengths we have used to make a place for ourselves and all our false loves, and we venture forth in our hearts to tract the steps of the One who said, 'Follow me.' In a way, it means that we stop pretending: that life is better than it is, that we are happier than we are, that the false selves we present to the world are really us. We respond to the Haunting, the wooing, the longing for another life...With an awakened heart, we turn and face the road ahead, knowing that no one can take the trip for us, nor can anyone plan our way."

-John Eldredge; The Sacred Romance

breathless trains and worn down glories

If this is redemption, why do I bother at all
There's nothing to mention, and nothing has changed
Still I'd rather be working at something, than praying for the rain
So I wander on, till someone else is saved

I moved to the coast, under a mountain
Swam in the ocean, slept on my own
At dawn I would watch the sun cut ribbons through the bay
I'd remember all the things my mother wrote

That we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you, I'd have a little trust

Two thousand years, I've been in that water
Two thousand years, sunk like a stone
Desperately reaching for nets
That the fishermen have thrown
Trying to find, a little bit of hope

Me I was holding, all of my secrets soft and hid
Pages were folded, then there was nothing at all
So if in the future I might need myself a savior
I'll remember what was written on that wall

That we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you, I'd have a little trust

Am I an honest man and true
Have i been good to you at all
Oh I'm so tired of playing these games
We'd just be running down
The same old lines, the same old stories of
Breathless trains and, worn down glories
Houses burning, worlds that turn on their own

So we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you my friend, I'd learn to have just a little bit of trust

be still and wait.

Ever looked at your life and where it's been and where it is now and want to just burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all? I see so many examples of how I don't measure up, how I could be better, how I've dropped the ball, and right now I just want to laugh. Because no matter how many times I remind myself it doesn't matter, I convince myself that it does. But it STILL doesn't matter. So why does it have such a hold on me?

I need to work on perspective...because I'm balancing between the two ideas that:

a.) none of it matters because Jesus loves me anyway, so I'm going to live in that love, or...

b.) none of it matters, so why even try? What's the point of all this?

Recently I've been immersed in my complete unworthiness. There is nothing good that is of myself...God is the only good thing about me. But I feel like I've only grasped half of the concept...the part that says I'm unworthy, vile, empty, and of the world. I'm missing the fact that God has redeemed that and can still use me. I can't find God in myself right now, so how does anyone else?

I'm disconnected and drifting from everyone I was ever close to, but physically here and participating in work and church and life. I don't know how to fix this. I want to pray, but words don't come. So I guess all I can do is sit in silence in His presence and hope that God brings me back to him.

substance.

"I . . . love to clothe this false self . . . and I wind experiences around myself with pleasures and glory like bandages in order to make myself visible to myself and to the world, as if I were an invisible body that could only become visible when something visible covered its surface. But there is no substance under the things with which I am clothed. I am hollow . . . And when they are gone there will be nothing left of me but my own nakedness and emptiness and hollowness . . ."

-Thomas Merton

you want me to change, change, change.

I've been MIA for a little while. I don't have any words, but I feel like I haven't a lot I could say. Does that mean it doesn't need to be said? Either way, here are some pictures and an amazing song. Till then!

Raelee :) (I dog-sat these two dogs for a week...normally my favorite, but it was a rough week of cleaning up accidents and vomit due to long work days. hooray!)

Sandy :)



Driving + Taking pictures = totally safe.

new!

This is for those who want an update on my new job. I just have my parents asking and that already exhausts me! So here it is. I really love my job. It's only been a couple days, and we will be in the learning process for a couple of weeks (probably more), but I'm enjoying it. I love being a part of the digital world, because that's where the growth is. And I can feel it when I'm at work! Things are always moving, always changing, and new information is coming out every day. I'm online every day and yet I have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. And it's really interesting learning about it! I'm not at the place where I can explain it to others yet, but maybe someday. Right now it's just so nice to absorb something again, and something that I feel will make a difference in my life. I love the possibilities of friendship with the other interns and the people that work there. I feel like the seeds for that are being planted. Overall I'm super grateful and excited for new opportunities there :)

image.

I need to know that I have a purpose. That I'm not just one in a million. A speck of sand on the beach. A drop of rain in a thunderstorm. Overlayed by dreams and thoughts not my own. Or are they? Who can tell anymore.

“We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.” – T. S. Eliot

celebrate!

LOVE YOU!! :)

Goodnight.

For Audrey. Best read in the rhythm of "Goodnight Moon". :)

Goodnight building, goodnight carts. Goodnight trash that is in the carts. Goodnight doors that squeak apart. Goodnight customers, and goodnight friends. Goodnight free rewards program. Goodnight musak, goodnight meetings. Goodnight awkward smiles and greetings. Goodnight 5-minute meetings. Goodnight Christmas and Easter rush. Goodnight children, who just won't hush. Goodnight rugs and goodnight mugs. Goodnight signs and goodnight wines (that we don't have). Goodnight service 20, 40 and 10. Goodnight all the select attractive men. Goodnight badge and goodnight phones. Goodnight condescending tones. Goodnight Dan the coffee man. Goodnight coffee, goodnight tea. goodnight people nice to me. Goodnight weird things people say, and goodnight item of the day. Goodnight airs and goodnight cares.         

Goodnight World Markets, everywhere.

Another year.

"Grow old along with me! 

The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."

- Robert Browning

morning run
lunch with a good friend/frozen yogurt
reading at Starbucks
birthday wishes from strangers
dinner at a restaurant I've been going to since I was a baby
family time

a happy birthday indeed. :)

expectation

A rose on the edge of blooming...I'd like to think my life is in this stage right now.

like like

Sidenote: I wish a couple was sitting at the bench...that would've been really cute. Unfortunately, I didn't think to stage anyone. Oh well. GORGEOUS day today at the park. I got to grab lunch with my good friend Andrea, and we walked around the park a few times and took some pictures.

I have this devotional that I've been reading every morning. It's called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. On the 5th, here is what it said:

"Come to Me for all that you need. Come into My Presence with thanksgiving, for thankfulness opens the door to My treasures. When you are thankful, you affirm the central truth that I am Good. I am Light, in whom there is no darkness at all. The assurance that I am entirely Good meets your basic need for security. Your life is not subject to the whims of a sin-stained deity.

Relax in the knowledge that the One who controls your life is totally trustworthy. Come to Me with confident expectation. There is nothing you need that I cannot provide."

"Your life is not subject to the whims of a sin-stained deity."...man. I needed that reminder.

Re-connected with someone I didn't expect tonight...and hanging out was really redeeming. :) I hope you all are having a great end to the week!

awkward.

I just wanted to say that I could look at awkwardfamilyphotos.com all day. SO great.

scrunchface.

My nephew had already captured my heart with his dashing good looks, but once he starting making this face a little while ago, I fell in love with his personality as well. He and Grandma were making this face at each other this morning so I wanted to capture it on camera, and as soon as I brought it over he looked right at me and hammed it up. Oh how I love him! Hope this brought a smile to your day like it did to mine :)

analytics.

Sip, Sip, Sigh.
The day unwinds before me, draining from my mind into my glass.
Tension drips away,
I am content.

after the rain.

"The rain began again. It fell heavily, easily, with no meaning or intention but the fulfillment of its own nature, which was to fall and fall. "
- Helen Garner

♥

the remedy.

As soon as I typed that, Jason Mraz began running through my head. Being a sucker for fast, rhythmic lyrics and a pretty voice, my love for j-mraz began with that song back in middle school. But anyways, my remedy for the day is going to be this roasted green tea and honey. It tastes kind of like what I would imagine barley to taste like...hence, the honey. Apparently it's really good for when you're sick. I work today so I'm hoping it goes by really fast. :)

"I won't worry my life away..."

-Jason Mraz; "The Remedy"

calm!

After two days, some quality time listening to j-mraz, and filling numerous bags with stuff to sell, donate and throw away...my room is actually CLEAN! It's a wonderful feeling.

Highlights include:
-Finding old journals and photos
-Finding my Chick-Fil-A calendar (filled with free food coupons!)
-Going through old notes from school friends (questionable abbreviations may have been used...as well as "z" at the end of words...)
-Throwing useless crap away...very liberating

My new best friends are storage tubs, both big and small. Love them. 

And I also got to snap a pic of my adorable nephew. Who will probably be walking in no time :)

Hope you all are enjoying your Wednesday!

chaos.

This picture of my room might as well be a page from a "Where's Waldo?" book. See if you can find a gray bandanna, a camera strap, and a tennis shoe! But seriously, this is a problem. Which is why, since I don't work until 4 today, I will be tackling this. I've been sort of working on it off and on...but once it's done, I know I will feel a lot better. If you don't hear from me for a few days...you might want to send someone in. Wish me luck!

bingo.

Two of my happy triggers: leaves blooming, and dinner rolls from Costco. I will address each of these in order. First, I just love watching everything come to life again. I always feel more alive in spring and the beginning of summer. Late summer I kind of feel lethargic and sick of heat, and then I come alive again in fall. The seasons of transition, spring and fall, are my favorite...and I know I'm probably not alone in that.

Now, the rolls. When I was younger, my parents would buy the big bag of 30 or so dinner rolls from the Costco bakery. Anyone? Anyone? These became like crack to my friends and I...tear them in half, spread on some butter, microwave ten seconds, and we were in heaven. Then repeat. Now over time, the memory of these rolls drifted away...until today. I went into Costco with my mom and sister for the first time in 8 or so years. I probably shouldn't have been as excited as I was, but it was quite the trip down memory lane. We meandered past all of the samples (taking each one of course) and we were talking about what my parents used to buy at Costco for us kids when we were younger. As soon as I remembered "DINNER ROLLS!", I had to go take a look and grab a bag. Although they aren't quite the same, I can still say they are delicious when buttered and microwaved (what isn't, really?). And they make me happy.

An exciting thing that happened this week: I won bingo twice in a row! Every Wednesday, Fridays does a bingo night at the bar. Yes, this is what my life in Thornton consists of. Haha. But it's actually a lot of fun with the group we have going! And, being that I hardly ever win things, and that I'm a dork, I had to document the winning cards. I won the "X" bingo and the blackout, which was pretty sweet. Prizes were a free appetizer, $5 gift card and $25 cash. Score. It was a good night.

Overall, it's the little things. :)

bloom.

Life is weird a lot. I haven't been on in a week, and I haven't posted in longer than that. Sometimes, I just have nothing to say. And that's alright. I don't miss Facebook yet, and that's been great.

Living back at home, it's been hard to remember that there is anything outside of my daily routine of work and home. That there is anything outside of this small suburban radius of Thornton. So occasionally I'll be snapped out of my reverie by friends in other places, and I'll think to myself "I should probably keep in contact with them better", and it doesn't happen. I get sucked back into this strange loop of my life, asking the same questions and usually not listening to the answers.

Though, I will say that despite that, I am growing. I am learning, I am trying not to analyze for once, and I am growing. It's not always an up-and-up process, but more like an up-and-down process. I can be ok with that. And I am learning to be ok being alone...or more specifically, seeking God when I am alone. And it makes all the difference.

As far as the photo challenge, I guess right now I'd rather take pictures of what I want, when I want. Haha. These are pictures from my trip to Fort Collins to see my good friend Katie...

Mini Almond Joy and Toasted Coconut cupcakes...SO good.



This is probably the only pink picture you will get from me right now. Haha.

I hope you all are well :)

Listen, love.

Saw these three bands on Saturday: Good Old War, The Belle Brigade, and Family of the Year. All great. I've been jamming out to The Belle Brigade in my car recently, and I love these songs:

"Where Not To Look For Freedom"

"Losers"

"Punch Line"

As far as the photo challenge...it will resume soon :)

mellow yellow

Alright. I realize that the color yellow was technically supposed to end on Tuesday, but it is ending today with this picture. And I am having a hard time choosing a color to move on to! Green and orange were suggested to me, but I'm leaning towards pink. I'm working all day tomorrow so unless I get up in the morning to do this, my picture might not be until after Easter. We'll see.

Anyways, I love this mug. It's bright and cheerful and usually has one of my favorite beverages inside of it. It's also the perfect size for holding while I'm tucked into one of our outdoor chairs on the back patio, enjoying the morning. Life is good with this mug.

I still don't know if I can put into words all that I've been taking in this past week. Maybe it's not meant to be put into words and shared on a public blog. Though I will say that not being on facebook has been wonderful. No one knows where I'm going, who I'm hanging out with, or where I'm at in life...and I don't know where everyone else is. And I don't care that I don't know! Although there is something great about being tagged in pictures and statuses and letting people know that your life is progressing, I was becoming too attached to that. I've been learning boundaries...we'll leave it at that. Changes are on the horizon...