Days 14, 15, 16, 17

Hi friends,

All caught up today! Enjoy the pics and some random thoughts below.

Intricate flower patterns

This is the shape I take at...hipster flea markets

I love anything that can take a picture.

*deep breath*

There are many patterns in the way we do things. One of my patterns that I noticed tonight at a work happy hour was that whenever I am meeting someone new and I have a good conversation with them, I always question it after the fact. I go into hyper-analysis mode and think "ok, how did I potentially mess that up or misinterpret the fact that it was going so well?" It's pretty exhausting. And to what end? Let's say I'm a complete weirdo in the conversation (which is bound to happen when you fully embrace potential awkwardness)...what's it really going to matter? Especially when all that the other girl was probably thinking was "oh my gosh, what is she thinking about me? I can't believe I just said that". I don't even want to know how much time I've wasted thinking about what other people think about me or how they feel about me. How do I feel about me? How do I seek to be more than just the negative space between people's opinions?

It can take many a shape. What is the shape I take when I'm at work? At home, alone? With friends? Are those shapes similar or drastically different? I'm noticing that as I get older, those shapes are looking more and more similar. They don't have to be the same; I'm a private person and I will share certain things with close friends over coworkers. I will also be able to talk about certain things with coworkers that friends may not understand. Both are valuable and have a place in my life. My goal is to have the base of those shapes be the person that I am at home, alone, without anyone else's input.

An ongoing battle, but a worthy one.

Sitting around the table at tonight's happy hour, we continue discussing the theme of favorite technology. A normal topic for those who live in the digital advertising industry, of course. Why wouldn't we subscribe to the things we use to persuade and transform internet users into retail customers? The funny thing is, I don't like ads. I didn't like them before I got into this industry because they looked like they would deliver a virus onto my computer as soon as I clicked. And now I'm not a fan of them after because I know too much of what goes behind them. I find myself wanting to shop on my own terms, and not have a banner prompting me to return to shoes that I was looking to buy 3 days ago ("I'll buy them when I'm ready, dammit! I know what you're trying to do here..."). That said, if ads are going to show regardless, I'd rather have them be relevant. Or at least that's what I tell everyone...it's hard to be in an industry that you don't 100% subscribe to.

It was a strange, imposter-feeling night despite the good conversation and laughs. Those come around occasionally, and thankfully aren't here to stay. No need to read people's minds and assume thoughts that they probably aren't even thinking.

So instead, I stop. Breathe, and look up.

Night, friends. And thanks for reading :)

Days 11, 12, 13

Bear with me as I catch up, friends. It was a great weekend! Unfortunately I did not take as many pictures as I should've. I will slowly be catching up this week :)

I have a handy little set of lenses that my mom got me for Christmas for my phone camera, and they're a lot of fun. This one in particular is for close-ups so I decided to see what a bag buckle would look like. Turns out, it's pretty cool.

Comfort. For me, one of the most comforting things is a hot beverage in my hands on a cold day. Especially if it has latte art. Because who doesn't love latte art? Probably the same people who don't love coffee...and don't have souls. ;) Just kidding. I know people have legitimate reasons for not drinking it/liking it. But it makes me so happy!

Another thing that makes me happy is the juxtaposition of snow against the color of the fall leaves. We got a bit of snow on Sunday, which was kind of fun and cozy if you weren't driving in it. I read an entire book! After an awesome morning of sleeping in and wandering to the coffee shop with one of my favorite people, it was a great combo.

I've been brainstorming ways to transform this blog into a new concept. More to come on that!

Stay warm, friends :)

Day 10: Best Friend

Hi, folks. How's Wednesday treating you? It snowed today for the first time! It makes me excited for big, fluffy blankets and hot chocolate (dairy-free, of course).

When I checked what today's challenge was, I immediately thought "oh I can't do it! I'm not around anyone I love!" And then I thought...wait a second. Of course I am.

Let me tell you about my best friend. I can go to her about anything, and she's been there through thick and thin. Although she hasn't always been nice to me and I haven't been nice to her, we always talk it through and come out closer than before. We sing together, laugh together, cry together, dance together, and do 10-minute cardio videos together when we don't feel like going to yoga. Whenever I feel pulled in every direction by everyone's opinion, she reminds me that I am intrinsically valuable without anyone else's input. If it was just me, here by myself, I would still be whole and complete. I try to remind her of the same because often she is telling others that but not believing it of herself.

She is a deep thinker and an overanalyzer to the utmost degree, which I think is why we get along so well. But it can put both of us in difficult places when we try to read people's minds and use those fake thoughts to build ourselves up or put ourselves down. She is kind, giving and genuine. And she's always excited to make someone laugh. She always tries to see the good in people and situations, which helps me be more optimistic when I'm having tough days. I trust her wholeheartedly and learn from her every day. I couldn't imagine living this life with anyone else.

Goodnight, friends. :)

Day 9: Doodles

I can't take credit for this doodle; it was shown to me from an awesome patch and I wanted to re-create it for fun. For someone in particular (you know who you are). 😊

"Get lost, find yourself". Seemed fitting to hold it up in front of a watercolor painting of a mountain landscape that I fell in love with at a brewery. After pining over it for the evening but questioning if it was true love or just a couple of beers, I slept on it and...went back and bought it the next day. Breweries have amazing artwork.

Keeping it short and sweet tonight, friends. Get lost and find yourself...listening to the song below.

Days 6, 7 & 8

It was a great weekend. Unfortunately, I slacked on a few of my pictures...which means today you get 3! It is also a bit of a throwback Thursday; instead of taking new pictures I decided to edit a few older ones that have been sitting on my computer. Enjoy :)

The first? Well, what's possibly shinier than the Bean (errr...I mean, "Cloud Gate")? I went to Chicago for the first time at the beginning of March and it was a really great work trip. It's a big city with a laidback feel, and I could see myself living there if I could handle the weather. It was a very dreary morning and my coworkers and I decided to trek to this very famous sculpture. Definitely worth it, especially since most people didn't want to be out in the pouring rain. This picture does not do the size or the shininess justice...it was cool, and I was a shameless tourist.

This next picture is from a solo trip that I took to Steamboat Springs last fall. It was an unexpected, last-minute trip that came after I decided to cancel a trip to Portland and needed some headspace. I took a 4 hour drive to an Air BnB, met a giant Newfie named Chewie, ate almond milk mozzarella, drank wine and chatted advertising with my host (a human, not Chewie), and briefly met his neighbor who was a former-Olympic-Nordic-combined-skier-turned-bear hunter. The trip was wonderfully unplanned from start to finish and was a welcome distraction. I snapped this pic on the deck of the house; I love the contrast of the ground with the fading sky.

And finally, weather. Today would've been PERFECT to take a picture of given that it was a misty, cloudy day. But by the time I realized this, it was already too dark. But that's ok because I came across this picture; I went on a hike in Frisco last October instead of doing laundry, and it was a fantastic decision. This cloudy weather is my favorite to hike in and makes me feel like I can hike for miles. Grateful for views of yellow trees against a heather gray sky.

Thanks for reading, friends!

Day 5: Drip

I had big plans for this picture...I would take my camera, turn my faucet slightly on, snap a picture of a perfectly shaped drop, and BAM. Day 5 post. But it turned into a flash at the bottom of this shot instead. It was more difficult than I thought! That's ok though, especially with some black and white effects. It's also fitting because there are actual rain drops outside and it's a nice soundtrack to a chill evening. Hope you're all having a good night :)

Day 4: Texture

Tonight was a lovely night making a new recipe with a special someone and a new thing: spaghetti squash. Is there a more perfect thing for "texture"? We decided to try this recipe and it was a success! Would definitely recommend if you want to try something new with a coconut curry-type flavor. The most fun part (besides eating it) was "fluffing up" the spaghetti squash with a fork; there's just something really satisfying about how easy the warm squash comes apart with the fork and transforms into spaghetti-like strings. And? It even looked like the official recipe pictures.

A successful night. :)

Day 3: On the ground

Hi all,

Going to be a short and sweet post tonight I think. All you need to know is that I am a sucker for water droplets on plants/leaves/windows/you name it. You can check out a similar picture in this post from the ancient days of 2012. Goodnight, friends. :)

Day 2: Bright

Did I stare at a bright light through a camera lens for several shots before I settled on this photo? Maybe. Should I have quit after two shots to save my eyesight? Probably, but I'm not a quitter. Was it worth it? I'll let you decide.

I'm realizing the downfall of only being able to take pictures after I get home, which means it's dark outside and I get to explore the inside of my apartment for photo subjects. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can often result in lightbulb pictures instead of sun-soaked balcony pictures. Good thing I'm not trying to win likes on Instagram.

I love the word bright; I immediately think of light or color but it also implies intelligence. To me, someone who is bright is someone who is eager to learn, catches on quickly, and has an energy about them that is contagious. I'm always really grateful when we get new people like that at work because they seem to shift the energy with their genuine curiosity and remind people why they started working in their industry or job. I'm also just grateful for people like that in general; a barista at one of my favorite coffee shops this morning greeted me like an old friend and we chatted about the weekend. I didn't even know she knew who I was, which made it all the more awesome. It was such a day brightener to be recognized and greeted. Plus non-awkward conversation?! Nailed it.

There are also times where things don't feel so bright and darkness hangs heavy, and I'm familiar with that space too. I cling to these tiny anchors in a day (a sincere hello, a warm smile, a puppy sighting...) and keep a "thankful for" note in my phone to hold a little light when those dark days come around.

But today? Today is bright, and I am thankful.

Day 1: Leaves

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

It finally feels like fall here in Colorado, and I couldn't be more excited. For me, fall brings with it a feeling of hibernation and coziness. I love being outside but during the summer there's this palpable sense of "I need to be outside and swim/hike/bike/camp/tan or I am WASTING THIS SUMMER". In the fall, focus shifts inwards and the pressure to be outside seems to lift as the temperatures lower. Oddly enough, my productivity at work also goes up about 200%.

So. What's the first thing you think of when you hear "fall"? If you said "pumpkin spice latte", partial credit. The answer for me is "changing leaves". It's fitting that for day 1, that's exactly what I'm taking a picture of. But unfortunately there are only about 5 leaves starting to change color in my neighborhood; I almost resorted to spray painting them yellow or doing some really aggressive photoshop edits before I stumbled upon the below.

Fall: crisp and cool. A time of solace and self-reflection. Fleeting and delicate, yet vibrant and impactful. I've found that watching the leaves turn bright in a blaze of glory allows me to pause and reflect on the months behind me and the months ahead. And I'm excited for the months ahead. I stare a bit longer at the trees, hoping to carry the memory of their brilliant colors into the restful and silent winter. I'm grateful that time feels a bit slower as the world tucks in with the cooler temperatures. I hope you can feel that same reprieve from the hustle and savor this season.


Thanks for tuning in, friends.

I'm baaaack: Photo Challenge #3

Well folks, it's happening. I'm dusting off my DSLR and testing out another photo challenge. Found one from #theidearoom from October 2016 that looks like a good one! I shall start tomorrow and we'll see how this goes.

Day 24: Color Scheme

Well friends, I did it...I set down my iPhone and picked up my beloved camera again. Back in 2012 I started my second photography challenge, and I've decided that it's about time that I finish it.

To new beginnings and renewed interests.

Day 23: Childhood

Hello, friends.

I know, I know...I still haven't done day 22. That one may come at a later date. This one was a picture of something that reminded you of childhood. As I was cleaning out my room, I found my baby blanket in the bottom of my bottom drawer of my dresser. I picked it up and immediately had the urge to tie it around my neck. So I did, obviously...and walked around like that for a little while to my parents' amusement. When my brother and I were younger, he had these superhero pajamas, Batman and Superman to be specific, that had detachable capes. Well, I was SUPER jealous...so I made my make-shift cape and we took turns taking our best flying jumps off of the fireplace and couch arms. Good times :)

I haven't touched my camera in a couple weeks, and that makes me sad. When I have the time these days, aka when I'm not working or unintentionally committing to things that take up every inch of my free time, I just want to zone out and indulge in hallmark movies (always a happy ending) and try to sleep. Throw in knitting, a glass of wine, a couple of crazy cats (gross), and I might as well be 40 years older. Someday I'll move out. But I don't want to wait for life to start until then...yet I feel like I have no other choice. Life is moving, but part of me still feels stuck. What I've learned these past couple of weeks though, is that I need to make time for these kinds of things. For my camera, for my guitar, for things that keep me sane. And I promise to work on that in the coming weeks.

Work has been going really well...I love my co-workers, and I'm so blessed by that.

Hope you all are well :)

Day 21: Sunrise

"There's a sunrise and a sunset every single day, and they're absolutely free. Don't miss so many of them."

- Jo Walton

I always take pictures of sunsets...so even though day 21 is "sunset", I figured it wouldn't hurt to switch it up a bit. I literally woke up, looked outside, and took this picture out of my window. I would love to wake up for sunrises more often...I remember when I'd work the early morning shift in college and get to walk to work with the sunrise. I miss that. Or at least, the idea of that. :)

Today I had one of those basic realizations...I was talking about kids on the way out of work with someone who has two. I thought to myself, "I'm definitely not going to be ready for that for another ten years". And then I thought about where I was ten years ago (middle school...yikes), and so much can change in even five years, let alone ten. Five years from now, I could be married. Maybe even trying for kids. Most likely not the second, but hopefully the first. And that's just the way life goes for most...you grow up, get married if you want to, have kids if you want to/can, work, live, etc. Driving in my car on the way home, I was simultaneously excited and suffocated by that train of thought. But I just have to remember...life happens in the midst of those stages. I didn't just go from middle school to high school to college to adult life...that would be boring. So many amazing things happened, and some not so amazing things. All of which I eventually came to be grateful for. I feel like I am so completely different from the me five years ago, and yet so much more...me. And how I define myself is continually shifting and growing and changing.

So, here's to five years ago, five years from now, and today. Because today is life.

Day 20: Whatever You Please

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

-Epicurus 

Day 19: Landscapes

Hey all. It's been a little while. Luckily there isn't a strict deadline for this photo challenge...

Landscapes. God paints some especially gorgeous ones here in the CO. This particular picture was one I took on a hike up to Lake Isabelle. It was a couple months ago, but I had such a hard time finding a good landscape shot that I figured I could post this. This hike was perfect...perfect weather, perfect scenery, perfect company. Plus we went to get delicious wings afterwards in Nederland. Good day :)

What a week. What a few weeks, actually. I think I'll be able to post consistently again...hopefully! I'll try my best. This past week has been an awesome change of mood from the previous weeks. A mix of pain and joy, with some hope thrown in. The pain makes the joy that much sweeter and much more present. God once again reminds me that he never leaves. I feel good things coming...and good things that are already here. Super thankful for that. And ready for a change! Hope you all are well :)

Day 18: A Photo Depicting an Emotion

I'm slowly coming around to an idea. Life is more than salaries and benefits and 401ks...more than perfect schools and perfect grades and a great neighborhood. Life is more than iPhones and Facebook and Internet. SO much more. I want a radical life...I want something more than this. I'm scared to leave comfort and I'm scared of where it will lead, but it's got to be better than the deadness I feel in my soul. The loneliness, the bitterness, the hopelessness that often creeps in. And materialistically there should be absolutely no reason for that; I have anything I could ever need...a loving family, friends, a place to live, food, and plenty of clothes and toys, just to name a few. It just doesn't make any sense. But joy is becoming harder to find and I feel like entitlement and my desire for the approval of others is poisoning my life and suffocating any feeling of freedom. I'm done. I'm so done. I don't have a clue how to get out of this, but I'm just trying to find God and what he wants to do with me. And my terrified, probably reluctant but anticipatory self will try to follow through. It will probably look like one step forward and two back, but as long as I'm moving in that direction, I feel like I'll be OK.

I don't know what emotion that is...restlessness, defeat? But that's where I'm at.

Day 17: Light

"Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished."

- Michael Strassfeld

I modified this one...it was street lights, but I didn't like how those turned out. This, on the other hand, I like. It reminds me of this post last year. The cobwebs are just a Halloween decoration, otherwise that would be pretty gross. But shining light on the cobwebs is kind of metaphorical...hmmm...do with that what you will.

My realization today: I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. It's simultaneously exciting, terrifying, and incredibly frustrating. But, somehow, always worth it. Need to stop trying to force things to happen in my life.

And that, my friends, is it for tonight...because my head is stuffed with cotton balls, and I'm going to try and sleep it off. Goodnight :)

Day 16: Light Trails!

Leave the shutter open for awhile, and you can do some pretty fun things. I would love to get better at taking long exposure shots.

But really, on another note...

Jessica Ridgeway. She's been on the news, on the minds, and on the hearts of so many the past week. My heart literally aches for this little girl who had to go through such a horrific experience that no one should EVER have to go through. You can't explain it, and you can't even begin to wrap your mind around it...so you pray for peace and resurrected hope over their family in a life without their daughter. I want peace for her family that comes from the realization that she was in the arms of Jesus the whole time. Peace for everyone else in that, as well. People are broken. But God can work His purposes through any tragedy. Rest in peace, Jessica.

Day 15: Whatever You Please

I LOVE FALL!! Ah. Today was perfect...I'm glad it was chilly, because I wore a sweater. I need to go thrifting for a sweet Halloween costume as well...hmmm. Any ideas? Let me know.

When I got my iPhone recently, I was all worried that I would get sucked into Instagram and ditch my actual camera. And it's cool, but I feel so lame on it. Ha. And I've noticed that all of the hashtags, although I know that they can serve a purpose, are ultimately for looks. I feel like such a poser when I use them, as weird as that sounds. #hashtagsareweird. I also need to be OK when people don't like my pictures. Haha. One step at a time.

For the record, I still love my camera. :)