Sunday, April 28, 2013

Say what you can't say.

Temptation to succumb to slumber,
to seethe poisonous words to unknown faces.
To dance wildly; rash and raw.
To scream, sing, and seize
some sort of life left in me.
A self-diagnosed disorder
of the catatonic;
need to force a pulse to fool the mortician.
for laughter's sake.
Shake and break these chains
of delirium.

Ode to my journal.

I am hesitant to cover your smooth pages
with my cluttered words.
A 200-page commitment.
And yet, I forget that it is only then
that you fulfill your purpose;
I would be doing you a disservice
by leaving you on display.
My pen was destined for your lines;
Intertwined in spontaneous ramblings,
and thoughts that mimic genius.
A willing ear, a sounding board,
My unusual friend.

Monday, April 22, 2013


It's funny how you can compartmentalize your life to the point where you forget where you've been and what you've been through. I'm almost 24, and sometimes I feel barely 18. I see students going to college, and for a split second I think "I should be doing that". Oh wait, I already did...two years ago. That is why I love journals and journaling...essentially it's a poignant reminder of who I am and where I've been. Changes you've gone through are so much more apparent when you can remember what place you started from.

Word of the day: poignant.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

running, walking, sitting, laughing.

Hope. It tends to sneak up on me in the most normal of moments; a welcome surprise.

It looks like this. Walking home from a run around Wash Park with a couple of new friends, the gorgeous weather speaking of lovely things to come, and life is full of possibility. Hope.

Sitting at a coffee shop, drinking a delicious latte. Sitting, watching Pearl Street through the window and feeling at home. Hope.

At dinner with old friends, bellies full of delicious food and laughter. I realize that I am completely comfortable in my own skin among these people. Hope.

Walking through my backyard to the door, smelling the rain. Noticing how it makes everything greener, and somehow new. Hope.

I love those moments. They are my focus and my fuel.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

hello, my old heart.

hello, my old heart 
how have you been? 
are you still there inside my chest? 
I've been so worried 
you've been so still 
barely beating at all 

oh, don't leave me here alone 
don't tell me that we've grown for having loved a little while 
oh, I don't want to be alone 
I want to find a home and I want to share it with you 

hello, my old heart 
it's been so long 
since I've given you away 
and every day I add another stone 
to the walls I built around you 
to keep you safe 

hello, my old heart 
how have you been? 
how is it, being locked away? 
don't you worry 
in there, you're safe 
and it's true you'll never beat, but you'll never break 

nothing lasts forever 
some things aren't meant to be 
but you'll never find the answers 
until you set your old heart free