face down, eyes closed.

Wye Oak - "Dance My Pain Away" (Originally by Rod Lee)

Audrey I think you will like this! :)

Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa, whoa oh whoa

Now listen to my story, bill collectors on me
Had to file bankruptcy , need some help from somebody
Doctors bills is stacking up, I'm desperate to make a buck
I played the lottery today, won't you please listen up.

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I just got laid off today, what you think my baby say.
I'll just have to hope and pray, rain, rain go away.
The repo man just hit me, can't get from A to Z
Fake friends around, Lord wont you help me.

Now I'm on my tippy toes, face down, eyes closed.
Face down, eyes closed, face down, eyes closed.

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)


I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)


I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

(Take your problems all on the dance floor, dance your problems away)

I'm gonna dance my pain away,
I've got problems.
Dance my pain away,
I've got problems.

Like, whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah), whoa oh whoa (yeah, whoa oh whoa (yeah)

jump.

Loving this song right now:

I feel like I'm coming back into my own again. I decided to start detaching myself from the church I'm going to, and it's been good for me so far. Whether or not I'll go back to that church or start going to a new one, I don't really know. But there are a couple in Denver I want to check out.

Also, I've started looking for apartments in Denver! Fun idea, not so fun to do. But it will be worth it. As I scroll through the numerous Craigslist postings, some promising and some not-so-promising, I just wish that God would tap me on the shoulder and say "that one!". I even try to tune-in to some inner signal or feeling, but to no avail this time around. If only.

Started on Twitter! Man, I could see how it would be more fun with a lot of your friends on it. Till then, I have a whopping 5 followers. Hoorah! Maybe I'll see you on there. @kjmyers8

the haunting.

"So much of the journey forward involves a letting go of all that once brought us life. We turn away from the familiar abiding places of the heart, the false selves we have lived out, the strengths we have used to make a place for ourselves and all our false loves, and we venture forth in our hearts to tract the steps of the One who said, 'Follow me.' In a way, it means that we stop pretending: that life is better than it is, that we are happier than we are, that the false selves we present to the world are really us. We respond to the Haunting, the wooing, the longing for another life...With an awakened heart, we turn and face the road ahead, knowing that no one can take the trip for us, nor can anyone plan our way."

-John Eldredge; The Sacred Romance

breathless trains and worn down glories

If this is redemption, why do I bother at all
There's nothing to mention, and nothing has changed
Still I'd rather be working at something, than praying for the rain
So I wander on, till someone else is saved

I moved to the coast, under a mountain
Swam in the ocean, slept on my own
At dawn I would watch the sun cut ribbons through the bay
I'd remember all the things my mother wrote

That we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you, I'd have a little trust

Two thousand years, I've been in that water
Two thousand years, sunk like a stone
Desperately reaching for nets
That the fishermen have thrown
Trying to find, a little bit of hope

Me I was holding, all of my secrets soft and hid
Pages were folded, then there was nothing at all
So if in the future I might need myself a savior
I'll remember what was written on that wall

That we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you, I'd have a little trust

Am I an honest man and true
Have i been good to you at all
Oh I'm so tired of playing these games
We'd just be running down
The same old lines, the same old stories of
Breathless trains and, worn down glories
Houses burning, worlds that turn on their own

So we don't eat until your father's at the table
We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust
Never once has any man I've met been able to love
So if I were you my friend, I'd learn to have just a little bit of trust

be still and wait.

Ever looked at your life and where it's been and where it is now and want to just burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it all? I see so many examples of how I don't measure up, how I could be better, how I've dropped the ball, and right now I just want to laugh. Because no matter how many times I remind myself it doesn't matter, I convince myself that it does. But it STILL doesn't matter. So why does it have such a hold on me?

I need to work on perspective...because I'm balancing between the two ideas that:

a.) none of it matters because Jesus loves me anyway, so I'm going to live in that love, or...

b.) none of it matters, so why even try? What's the point of all this?

Recently I've been immersed in my complete unworthiness. There is nothing good that is of myself...God is the only good thing about me. But I feel like I've only grasped half of the concept...the part that says I'm unworthy, vile, empty, and of the world. I'm missing the fact that God has redeemed that and can still use me. I can't find God in myself right now, so how does anyone else?

I'm disconnected and drifting from everyone I was ever close to, but physically here and participating in work and church and life. I don't know how to fix this. I want to pray, but words don't come. So I guess all I can do is sit in silence in His presence and hope that God brings me back to him.

substance.

"I . . . love to clothe this false self . . . and I wind experiences around myself with pleasures and glory like bandages in order to make myself visible to myself and to the world, as if I were an invisible body that could only become visible when something visible covered its surface. But there is no substance under the things with which I am clothed. I am hollow . . . And when they are gone there will be nothing left of me but my own nakedness and emptiness and hollowness . . ."

-Thomas Merton

you want me to change, change, change.

I've been MIA for a little while. I don't have any words, but I feel like I haven't a lot I could say. Does that mean it doesn't need to be said? Either way, here are some pictures and an amazing song. Till then!

Raelee :) (I dog-sat these two dogs for a week...normally my favorite, but it was a rough week of cleaning up accidents and vomit due to long work days. hooray!)

Sandy :)



Driving + Taking pictures = totally safe.